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Thursday, February 23, 2006

 

Rat or Dog?

As I was plugging in my breast pump last night (the way all good stories start), I discovered that the electrical cord on our lava lamp had been severed near the base. The cord had also been destroyed on the space heater, which sits on the floor next to the lava lamp. Something (someone??) had chewed completely through both of these cords.

It was a mystery. The time had come to compile a list of suspects. The known residents of our house are:

1. Me
2. Dave
3. Our almost 6-month-old daughter
4. Our dog Cosmo

My husband and I both have jobs, and our daughter has no teeth, so all signs pointed to our neurotic dog. But what about the invisible residents of our house? I try to ignore the scrabbling in the walls late at night, but were the rodents stepping up their game?

Consider this. WHATever it was chewed through the only two cords in the house NOT plugged in. Dave feels that Cosmo knew which cords did not have electricity, and so wedged himself in a corner and carefully chewed through those, passing up the plugged-in cord for the lamp, which was right next to the space heater and lava lamp. However, this is a dog who shows almost no interest in chewing on things. When we first got him we went through almost every chewable item in the pet store until we found the one bone he likes to gnaw on. Also, I've seen him chew. He hunkers down and obsessively chews and chews. The cords were cut fairly cleanly, with no obvious bite marks. Our daughter's spit-up covered toys blanket the house, and he chooses an electrical cord?

So it's an electricity-savvy rodent? One who is roaming around the house destroying our infrequently-used appliances?

I can't decide which is worse. All I know is I'm afraid...very afraid...to go home tonight.

Comments:
I was worried when I saw the title that you were going to post something about Bob Weir. That would have *really* scared me.
 
Rats of NIMH? Gotta love those super-intelligent rodents...
 
Bold rat, rat-a-tat-tat
Gnawing on my lava lamp
 
Hey, cole. Thanks for stopping by bro. Glad you liked your "alter-ego" :)
 
A rat packin' a box cutter?
 
"Rat packin" impels me to make a joke about Sammy Davis Jr., Deano or Steve and Edie, but I can't come up with anythying.

Babe.
 
Okay, we have pretty conclusive evidence it was Cosmo (the dog). I am both relieved and amazed that Cosmo can tell which cords will shock him and which won't. Hilary's suggestion is to go buy him more dried bull penises to bite on. Will do, but them dried bull penises ain't cheap!
 
Okay, we have pretty conclusive evidence it was Cosmo (the dog). I am both relieved and amazed that Cosmo can tell which cords will shock him and which won't. Hilary's suggestion is to go buy him more dried bull penises to bite on. Will do, but them dried bull penises ain't cheap!
 
"Conclusive evidence", huh? Did you dust for slobber? Remember that you had slathered chicken giblets all over the cords? Computer-enhance the living room surveillance camera footage? Pay a doghouse snitch to rat Cosmo out?
 
I have to protect my methods and sources, but I can tell you that slobber wasn't the incriminating evidence. Unfortunately slobber would incriminate 3 out of the 4 residents of our house
 
Those poor bulls!
A.M.
 
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