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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

 

It's Christmas Eve

Dear Santa:

I have been a good boy all year. It has been hard but I have done my best to be nice to my sister and I hope you are well how is Rudolph? Anyway, here is my list of stuff I want this year, I understand if you can't get me everything because you are so busy (say hi to the elves!)

1. Indict the living fuck out of that evil bastard Karl Rove. I want him to walk funny when you're done serving him. All his life he's been paid to be the most unethical person in any given room--which is a fun game as long as the rooms you stick to host Washington dinner parties and campaign strategy sessions. But when the room is shared with Jimmie Ray Earl who killed his six inbred daughters for questioning his divinity, and Big Willie, who took down six cops and bit off a guy's nuts before they captured him, it might not be so much fun anymore.

2. Bring a ton of bricks down on Scooter Libby. He should be given a month in the hole and a "shower" with a high-pressure hose just for having that obnoxious preppie nickname.

3. While you're at it, indict Satan himself, Dick Cheney. As Dan Froomkin points out in today's Post, there's precedent. I think Dick would look good in orange.

4. Get John Hannah to flip like a little bitch and rat out his bosses in order to save his own dirty neck--oh, wait, you already got that for me.

5. The Adventures of Superman, Season One, on DVD.

PS--I will leave you a cookie like always. (And carrots for the reindeer.) I love you!

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