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Friday, February 09, 2007


Sky Quits Over Chicken Incident

EARTH (AP) -- The heavens themselves resigned Friday following an episode that caused a security scare in a small chicken.

The announcement about the firmament resigning was made in an internal memo sent to the oceans, polar caps and land masses.

In a statement to the rest of the biosphere, the sky said it regrets the stir that the incident caused. It has also agreed to pay the sum of 2 million acorns to the chicken.

''It's my hope that my decision allows us to put this chapter behind us and get back to our mission of delivering unrivaled oxygen, carbon dioxide, clear views of the sun and stars, clouds that look a little like horses and castles, and gentle breezes for organisms of all ages,'' the sky said.

Cartoon Network Chief Quits Over Marketing Stunt

Wednesday, February 07, 2007


These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Taken at WRMC FM, Middlebury College, 1/31/07; that's my writing on the station sticker, circa 1992.


The Surefire Way To Score A Room For Comic-Con

Step One: Arrange for your best friend from college to live in San Diego, preferably two blocks from the beach.

Step Two: Claim your spot on his floor.

Step Three: Hang out with his family and friends. Chip in for food. Compliment him on his fine dog. Attend show with him. Feel very grateful that you are not one of the people bashing your head into your computer screen in February.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007


What's Not To Love?

Before you can love anyone else, you must learn to love yourself.

I love everyone.


Virtually Straight

Oh my goodness. From the Times:
Haggard Pronounced 'Completely Heterosexual'

DENVER (AP) -- One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is ''completely heterosexual.''

''He is completely heterosexual,'' Ralph said. ''That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing.''
Really, Ted was intensely heterosexual at least 99% of the time. All those hours driving to and from church, grilling steaks, watching college football and preaching without engaging in sex acts with a male prostitute ought to count for something, oughtn't they? He was only gay for a few minutes at at time, you know, as a kind of experiment. That's how sexuality works. So you see, any "acting-out" that went on is statistically insignificant.

Then again, an inability to act out is what got Ted into trouble in the first place.

I adore the end of the article where it becomes apparent that the most important thing for Colorado Springs, the ministers, et al is to make sure that Ted and his family move away. Far, far away. And that Ted find "secular work" in order to "heal the wound." I would say that you have to love these people, except that really, you ought to throw rocks at them.

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