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Monday, October 10, 2005

 

Judgments Rendered, 5¢

Language tics that make me madder than they would if I were a well-adjusted person who didn't let stupid shit eat away at my guts like a cancer:

The borrowed-from-the-military phrase "on the ground":
as in "the situation on the ground", "boots on the ground", "facts on the ground", "senior aide on the ground", etc. In any of these instances, simply delete the phrase "on the ground" and you tell me what meaning has been lost. No, I'll tell you: none fucking whatsoever.

"crisp" decision-making:
the reason cited why politicians can't ever turn over pertinent papers about their evil secret meetings with corrupt oil barons, or horrible manchurian candidates they've nominated to lifetime positions of massive social, political and cultural up-fucking; because decision making is apparently like a head of goddamn iceberg lettuce, which will wilt if left on the counter where senators might see it. Boy, that Bush guy's decisions all suck historic levels of ass, but at least they're "crisp" because he makes them in absolute, cross my heart and hope to die, you can all eat me secrecy!

Blogger quote affirmation, seen often on political sites run by white guys with sticks up their asses:
"Just right." "Just so." "Exactly right." "Just about right." Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! (This one really bothers me.)

Comments:
Tell me how you really feel about language tics.
A.M.
 
Brilliant.

Since you asked, here's what drives me absolutely bonkers: conflating COMPRISE with COMPOSED OF. A random google news search turns up these malapropisms: "The Exeter Junior Hawks - a team comprised of faculty, students and coaches ... " from the Portsmouth Herald News a mere six hours ago. WRONG. Should be either "composed of" or "faculty, students and coaches comprise the Exeter Junior Hawks.

Or this: "The committee, comprised of 10 Republicans and eight Democrats ... " from the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal on Oct 13. WRONG! GAH!
 
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