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Monday, January 30, 2006


Just What A Playful, Active Tyke Needs

Over at the sublime Superfrankenstein this morning there's a demented shot of eager 8-year-olds holding up rally signs--"Cheney Rocks!" "Too Cool!" "We Heart Cheney!" At CafePress, you can purchase apparrel letting your young ones express their undying (at least until they get sent to the Middle East in a few years) admiration for Unca Dick. Kids just love "Vice"--and he loves them too. With steak sauce.

Face it, Cheney embodies all of the qualities that kiddies adore: scary, bald, old, mean, sneering, lies his country into war, loves torture, smears political opponents as traitors. In fact, Dick Cheney is a lot like Santa Claus—if Santa wasn't such a liberal pussy. "Lumps of coal? We'll render your ass to Egypt, you little motherfucker. You better believe the NSA knows when you are sleeping, when you're awake, and what brand of Captain Crunch you shat out this morning."

Kids eat that stuff up. And Dick Cheney eats small children. It's like a beautiful circle.

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