.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Monday, February 26, 2007


I Have DNA Proof That James Cameron Is A Dimwat

All of the articles I've seen about filmmaker James Cameron's documentary (just in time for Easter!) about the supposed 20-year-old discovery of Jesus' remains (along with, for good measure, those of his entire family--including a son!) allege that this will provide ammunition for skeptics of Christianity. Tim McGirk of Time says it will "stir up a titanic debate between believers and skeptics." The BBC quotes Prof. Stephen Pfann as saying "sceptics, in general, would like to see something that pokes holes into the story that so many people hold dear."

I am only one small voice, but I can safely say that for this avowed atheist, all this "discovery" shows is that Cameron is an egotistical doofus. Which should come as no shock to anyone who has followed his Hollywood career. I suppose that this could provide ammunitions for cranks, but the entire premise is so stupid--what exactly is the "DNA testing" supposed to "prove"?

I understand that many people are compelled to prove things like this one way or the other. Anne, the boys and I are currently watching Michael Wood's highly entertaining 1985 BBC documentary In Search of the Trojan War in which Wood relates the attempts to discover the historical basis, if any, for Homer's Iliad. Wood himself is clearly driven by the belief that the poem must contain literal, historical truth, and that one of the ancient cities uncovered in the late 1800s at the Dardanelles is likely Homer's Troy. But as one scholar he interviews says, (and I paraphrase) who cares? The truth of Homer's poem is not something that can be archeologically proven. All readers collaborate with the poet to create their own Troy in their imaginations, rendering any historic truth irrelevant to the art. Conversely, the dig site on the plain at Hisarlik is intrinsically interesting and historically revealing without the need to specifically tie it to the events of the poem. Wood calls these comments "ambiguous", as they clearly don't fit his thesis, support the romantic conception of archaeologists or make for compelling TV.

Wood seems to want to show that the events of the Iliad really happened. The same impulse drives those who hunt for Noah's ark, the people who sell the "Jesus Never Existed' pamphlet in the back of The Nation and now Cameron. But aside from the obvious desire to make money off of the documentary, why? Can Cameron harbor any illusions that this tomb could actually "prove" anything? We're talking about 2,000 years of faith--faith that for many people, hasn't been shaken by the the most dramatic discoveries of science over that time, understandings of biology and the physical universe that directly contradict biblical assertions. We see now that some deeply fucked up right-wing Christians (is there any other kind?) think that the idea of a heliocentric solar system itself is a Jewish conspiracy going back to Copernicus himself. James Cameron and his ossuaries which may or may not be labeled with the common names that correspond to Jesus' family aren't going to put a dent in that. It's merely embarrassing.

You just realized James Cameron is an assmunch? What, you missed ALIEN NATION? Have you heard of a little three hour gem of sheer gaping sphinterocity called TITANIC? How about that godawful waste of Jamie Lee Curtis some men call TRUE LIES, but that I just refer to as That Godawful Waste Of Jamie Lee Curtis?

And then there's TERMINATOR II, which isn't the worst sequel known to Hollywood, but only because of the existence of the mind bendingly horrible SUPERMAN IV.

Us geeks tend to give Cameron way too much of a pass because he did the first TERMINATOR movie. And, yeah, that film kicks ass, and not only that, but it's actually an SF movie that makes sense. But where I will give Zelazney a pass for any number of crappy incoherent novels due to LORD OF LIGHT and the first AMBER books, I can only make TERMINATOR stretch so far for Cameron, and he used up every last bit of that stretch with... well... I don't know. What was his next movie after ALIENS...?

Anyway, yeah, he's a jacknut. But the Jesus thing is kinda cool anyway. Anything that gives me more ammo for my "you Bible is a buncha politically motivated mind control bullshit, church bitches, now, GET OUT OF MY PANTS!!!!" blog posts works for me.

Nice to see you back. It's cold here this morning.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?