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Wednesday, March 28, 2007


This Party Sucks. You People Just Don't Know How To Have A Good Time.

It's that point in the office party when everyone is looking around at each other uncomfortably. The boss has spent the entire night chugging gin and tonics. He passed the lampshade-on-the-head stage an hour ago, then moved onto stumbling around getting in-between guys and their wives, loudly slurring about his sexual prowess. Now he's standing in the middle of the living room trying to take off his pants to show everybody his dick, asking which of these dumb broads wants to take a ride in the boss's Lexus. The board of directors is standing in the corner with looks of disgusted shock on their faces, the proceedings are being broadcast to the entire shareholders meeting where investors sit in stunned silence, and the boss thinks he's the life of the party. "This is my goddamn company" he bellows, "and I'll wave my dick around at my own goddamn party if I fucking want to and if you bitches don't like it you can suck it." Hey, the sales guys think it's funny, right? "I said, which of you whores wants to go for a drive?"

The only question now is who's going to have enough guts to step up and take away the keys.

Sadly, this is barely a metaphor.

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